How do I abide in the Lord without Idolizing my spouse? 

When expectation is not met in a relationship, conflict arises. One way or another, with expectations, we are asking the spouse to meet our needs. 

3 Abiding Skills: 

Reading God’s Word to transform myself, not my spouse. 

Live in surrender and dependence on God to make me whole. 

Listing to the illumination of the Holy Spirit. 

Take these three areas, break it down, and it will reconcile the relationship. Good news is…we don’t have to fix all the brokenness. We don’t have to fix our spouse’s brokenness, and we don’t have to fix our brokenness. All we have to do is live a life in dependence, surrender, letting Him transform us and fix that brokenness.  

The abiding relationship with the Lord impacts the abiding relationship with the spouse. Be dependent upon God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The closer I draw to the Jesus, the more I come like Jesus, the less the issue of/or desire to fix a spouse or ask to be fulfilled by a spouse will diminish. 

Encouragement: Read the following passages slowly, pray these passages, ask God to speak these into your hearts. Read for transformation, let God transform you.  

• John 14 and John 15 

• Galatians 5 

• Ephesians 5: 17 

If you want to know more about abiding, we encourage you to go back and listen to all the podcasts from the beginning. Conclusion verse John 14:23.