Lighting our own torches
Many times we talk about dependence and believe we are in it. Other times we are afraid to give something up, as if what came next wouldn’t be as good as what we had planned. I know personally when I have held onto something it has been out of fear. What would happen if I didn’t fight this, if I didn’t take a stand or hold the reins? Some has been fear of what would happen to my kids at another house. Fear of what would occur if a parent stayed sick and didn’t get the help they needed. A friend continuing down a road of harm.
All of these resulted in my flesh wanting to take control. But a life of abiding involves more than taking control of a situation and making sure it turns out for the Lord’s best will and intention. Abiding actually involves letting the Lord’s will and intention work, without us leading it. This was a hard one for me to swallow. I have spoken about dependence before, but it should always be revisited. Our best in life involves our surrender to the Lord’s will. When we walk within our means and our Will is the highest then we walk in sin. The Lord has an answer to that, he allows us to do it and feel the effects of it. Yet, in contrast, when we walk in his favor and submit our life to him we enjoy his goodness and faithfulness. A great example of this can be found in scripture through the prophet Isaiah.
In Isaiah 50:10-11 Isaiah is given inspiration from the Lord in this arena: “Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let the one who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on their God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment.”
So, what is the Lord truly telling us in this? Are you like I was, always trying to light their own torch? I found that was an exhausting way to live. And worse yet, the Lord shows us what this results in, torment. But is the Lord the tormentor? Or perhaps could it be our own circumstances creating the rift or difficulty? In scripture we see many examples of how an individual, or group in Israel’s case, did things on their own and found torment. The Israelites wanted a king, so therefore they got a king, and were worse off because of it. Adam and Eve wanted to know and define good and evil, and it brought them shame and death. Chris wanted to control a vacation and craft every part of it so his kids would have the most fun, only to find out it brought torment because no one was having fun being forced along a track. I don’t believe the Lord has to levy the torment; we are good at bringing it through our own set of circumstances.
Let’s contrast this to a well-known Psalm, Psalm 23. In it we see what a dependence on the Lord through our trials looks like. “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restoreth my soul.” A sheep doesn’t exert control over the shepherd, or believe they have better plans for protecting the flock that the shepherd. They listen to the shepherd’s voice and follow them. If they don’t, they wander off to get lost inviting all the dangers that a lone helpless animal might. We aren’t any different in many senses, as far as protection is concerned. Our thinking may be more complex, but certainly not much better.
This is the contrast between control and dependence on the Lord and in Christ. So why not try letting go in the next circumstance? Or put differently, “Seek first his kingdom and righteousness, and all these others things will be added.” (paraphrase of Matthew 6:33)
